Go With The Instincts

Every day I wake up with a fresh mind. I wake up looking forward to what the day has in store for me. I wake up excited. But today was different. Today, when I woke up from my bed, I wasn’t excited. I wasn’t feeling it. Instead I woke up with a thought. In fact it was a question. The question made me feel like lying on my bed whole day long. I tried doing different activities to get rid of this ‘question’ of mine. No matter what I did, it came back haunting me.

“What have you done during the last thirty days?” , a voice from within me asked.

I wasn’t trying to run away from this question. I was trying to hide myself from the answer to the question. But all that was a waste, because how could you hide in an empty room?

I knew the answer, but couldn’t tell….No.. I didn’t want to tell because it was too embarrassing.

Soon, I realized that I couldn’t hide. With my head hanging down I said, “Nothing”.

It has been one month since my vacations started. Before it began I had lots of plans in my mind. From waking up at 4 AM to learning to cook. Lots of stuff were there on my wish list. It is awkward to admit that it remained on paper and I was not able to strike off even a single one of it. I didn’t even bother doing the simplest one of it.

We often say stuff like, ” My mind says this, but my brain says that”. A similar kind of effect was taking place within me.

My mind wanted to do lot of ‘cool’ stuff during the summer vacation, but my brain held me back.
As I took my hand to rub my sleep off my eyes, the wicked brain of mine hypnotized it and forced it to switch the alarm off. “Don’t worry, the Sun hasn’t risen yet”, my brain said. And I ended waking up only after the 11 AM sunlight struck directly on my eyes.
Likewise, all the plans I had at the start of the month faded away. All the ideas I had on my wish list was like something you write on water. It all vanished.

When you suppress or ignore someone for too long, they will get impatient and the tones of their voice will change. The same was happening with my mind. Whenever my mind wanted to do something, my brain would come up with an idea that is completely opposite to what my mind wants. And me, always ended up listening to my head. I have to admit that I am a very partial dude. I always ignored my mind and now it’s frustrated with me.

And today, it got so impatient with me that it started shouting at me. That inner voice I heard today. It was my mind shouting. I guess, I should try listening to it. Listening to my brain had not given me any gain anyways.

Tomorrow is a new day. A new beginning. I have decided to ignore my head for a while and go with my instincts. And I hope, the wicked guy sitting in my head doesn’t start shouting at me.

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