One Monday, I was sitting there in my classroom playing with my pen. It was the period after lunch break and it was quiet dull. I was not much aware of my surroundings, but I could hear the noisy chats going on behind me. I was looking down at my pen, rolling it along my fingers. And then suddenly one of my classmates, John (just a fictional name but this guy really exists), poked me from the back. It is very irritating when someone just irritates you when you are minding your own business. I had told him not to poke me, a number of times before but he found so much fun in poking me that he continued doing it. I had a tickle sensitive skin and he loved watching my reaction to his pokes. Yes, doing it two or three times is fun but doing it every time he comes near me is very irritating. This time when he poked I could feel my veins heating up. My fists automatically tightened. I was angry. PAUSE!
Everyone gets angry. Anger is a normal emotion that involves a strong uncomfortable and emotional response to a perceived provocation. Like happiness and sadness, anger is also a simple emotion. But this emotion could ruin your relationship with your loved ones. It is normal to be angry at times but you have to learn to control it. You should learn to not be angry quickly and also to restrict your actions when angry. As a teenager I have lot of anger in me but I really want to get rid of it. Well, getting rid of anger is impossible but you can restrict it. And many of you might also want to control your anger.
To solve a problem you have to get to the root of things. So lets see how anger is formed and how it works. I am not a big fan of science but I have no option other than telling you the science about anger. OK, I am not going tell the whole of it.
Emotions more or less begin inside two almond-shaped structures in our brains which are called the amygdala. The amygdala is the part of the brain responsible for identifying threats to our well-being, and for sending out an alarm when threats are identified that results in us taking steps to protect ourselves. The amygdala is so efficient at warning us about threats, that it gets us reacting before the cortex (the part of the brain responsible for thought and judgment) is able to check on the reasonableness of our reaction. In other words, our brains are wired in such a way as to influence us to act before we can properly consider the consequences of our actions. This is not an excuse for behaving badly – people can and do control their aggressive impulses and you can too with some practice. Instead, it means that learning to manage anger properly is a skill that has to be learned, instead of something we are born knowing how to do instinctually.
Although it is possible for your emotions to rage out of control, the prefrontal cortex of your brain, which is located just behind your forehead, can keep your emotions in proportion. If the amygdala handles emotion, the prefrontal cortex handles judgment. The left prefrontal cortex can switch off your emotions. It serves in an executive role to keep things under control. Getting control over your anger means learning ways to help your prefrontal cortex get the upper hand over your amygdala so that you have control over how you react to anger feelings. Among the many ways to make this happen are relaxation techniques (which reduce your arousal and decrease your amygdala activity) and the use of cognitive control techniques which help you practice using your judgment to override your emotional reactions. (Read more – Physiology of Anger)
So how do you control your anger? When you become angry your breath taking and also heart rate increases. Relaxing your breath and your heart will help you overcome anger. This is a relaxation technique. You have to take deep breaths. When you are angry your brain literally doesn’t work, so it takes a lot of practice to implement this technique. When you focus on taking deep breaths you will slowly start forgetting your reason for anger and also you will slowly regain your calm. This is one of the most common techniques and it does work. It won’t work for those who are not ready to work and practice.
Now, I will suggest to you my own techniques. I don’t know how much these techniques work but I think it has worked out well with me. One is to have healthy habits. You should always have a particular amount of sleep, say seven hours. According to professionals, seven hours of sleep will help you stay healthy. You should go to the bed on a particular time everyday, atleast you should try your maximum to go to the bed on the exact time everyday. Same goes with waking up. These simple habits will help control your emotions. Don’t skip any of your meals. You should take care to eat your meals on time. The second technique I would suggest you is to try to control small things or habits of yours. Controlling small things or habits will help you control big things like emotions. I love chocolates and I am sure many of you too love chocolates. Even if you have all your favourite chocolates in front of you to eat, you should practice and control your will to eat them all in one go. You should go one at a time. Like ways you should control small habits of yours and you will be able to control your emotions.
Now, think of a scenario when you are not the angry one. Maybe it is your friend who is angry and you don’t know why he/she is angry. You may not have done anything wrong but still he/she could be angry at you or maybe someone else (who is not present in the scene). When these types of situations happen with us, slowly we also become angry. And the scenario gets even worse. So there are some things you should remember in such situations. Like I said before, when someone is angry his/her brain literally doesn’t work. So when you are not the angry person in the scene you should act responsibly. Your friend does not have the ability to think at that moment but you have. You should help him/her to get rid of her anger. You will only make things more difficult if you too become angry at that moment.
PLAY! I really wanted to punch John hard, but somehow I managed to control my anger. I was able to completely get rid of it. But think of a different case. If I just controlled my anger then, there are chances that I could go home and maybe I could get angry with my mom. This will make things worse. Just controlling anger is not enough you should be able to completely swallow it. It is going to take time, but it is possible if you are willing to work for it.
I am no master in controlling my anger. I just researched on the internet so that I can control anger and I just wanted to share with you how anger works and how you can control it. I hope it helped you. Thank you for lending me your valuable time.